learning about acceptance or something like that.

okay so this a post about what has been going on in my life/what I have been thinking about/what I have been learning. It might be long. It might be short. It might not make any sense. It might make complete sense. I don’t know how this is going to work out but you know what…just let it happen.

Living here, with a bunch of people around me all the time with different lifestyles and choices and ideas and opinions has really taught me a lot.

But I think the most important thing I have learned so far is how to co-exist with everyone else.

You know how people always tell you to live life guarded from the things that are sinful and bad and wrong? Well I think that is bull crap.

I have learned more about how to be like Jesus by living with people who get drunk every weekend, hook up with random people, smoke weed and cuss up a storm than I have from most Jesus lovers I know. (Notice I said MOST. don’t be dramatic about it.)

I really don’t think it’s about guarding yourself at all. I think it is about putting yourself out there like an open book so everyone knows who you are and what you’re about and then being interested in reading about who other people are like too.

I have a friend who is a lesbian. Most people would tell me that is wrong. Her influence might “rub off on me” or I might be tempted. Well I think that is just plain ignorant. I talk to her about her girlfriends just like I would talk to anyone else about her boyfriends or his girlfriends. And you know what? Since I am allowing her to be open with me without her having to be afraid I am going to judge her, I can be completely open with her. She knows that wouldn’t choose that lifestyle or even mess around with it. And she is cool with that. It’s not awkward. It’s not weird. It’s not uncomfortable. It’s just us.

I have a lot of other friends who like to party on the weekends. They come home around 2 a.m. and need a little help functioning. I took my friends puke filled trashcan to the trash room down the hall last night. I made a bed for another friend on the floor so she didn’t have to stumble to her building. I took phone calls from drunk friends to make sure they were okay. Do I feel tempted to drink when I go out with them? Nope. Do I feel like they think less of me because I don’t? Nope. You know why? Because I am open with them and they are open with me. They know what I am all about and that doesn’t include drinking. I know they like doing it. We talk about funny drunk stories all the time. I help them get ready before they go out. They have a DD always. And out friendship is so much richer that way.

You know, Jesus lived his life this way. He was 20x better at it than I am, obviously. I am just now beginning to see what he meant by walking on the other side of the street with the tax collector instead of keeping our distance. I know why he let a whore wash his feet with her tears and wipe them with her hair. I know why he let a liar be the cornerstone of the Church. I know why he let himself be killed just to be friends with me. It’s because he knew that just because I am broken and ignorant and stupid and make horrible decisions and screw people over sometimes that writing me off as toxic and a temptation won’t benefit him or me. He knows that friendships only go so deep when you limit them to the types of people you allow yourself to be friends with and you refuse to be open enough with someone to get past your differences.

If you are reading this and are now worried about me, I almost feel sorry for you. Because you don’t really understand what I am talking about. I don’t worry about feeling tempted or judged. Because I have put myself completely out there for everyone to see. Everybody knows I don’t drink or smoke or mess around all the time. And that is that.

Prayers for me to continue to live this life of love would greatly appreciated. And I will pray for you guys too.

with love,

j.