There are times when relationships end. Not just in a romantic sense or friendships just growing apart. Sometimes people have to walk out of our lives and never come back. I have experienced this lately and I have to say it was a long journey. I’m sure people around me could have told me this would happen a long time ago but I just didn’t see it.
Or I didn’t want to.
Things can take a long time to unravel and this has been extremely painful and terrifyingly eye opening but I have to say the worst part about it has been the moment when everything is said and done and you are just sitting there realizing that an entire part of your life is over.
And it’s not a feeling of longing or mourning. It’s more finite than that. It’s just a feeling of the end. A resolution that can’t be unresolved. That feeling of finality beyond your control.
In that moment you can look back and watch yourself live through it all again only this time you get to watch it fall apart right in front of you. How could you not see all of this before? You watch yourself trying to fix something that was crumbling on its own and you can see that the thing you had been fighting for for so long ended a long time ago and you were just chasing memories.
That is the worst part.
I wish I had a good way to conclude this post but I don’t. There isn’t much to say other than…it’s over. It’s been over. And for those of you who watched it crumble, I finally understand.
with love,
j.
The Patio 